The Stiffest of the Stiff Drinks

The Finch-Takahashi/Biles-Finch wedding reception was pretty fun. Probably the most laid back wedding reception ever. You pretty much couldn't tell who the grooms and brides were. Anyway... their wedding favors were pint glasses with the above graphic on it and you were able to get all you can drink beer. Lisa and I spent a large portion of our night chatting with Mr. G. Good ol' Mr. G. Probably the most phenomenal teacher of all time (if you don't believe me, you can have a lengthy conversation about it with my brother, David). Johnny didn't really have any luck at finding any ladies to hit on that night... I think he was scared they might've been related to me... I think Johnny's favorite part of the night (aside from the free all you can drink beer) was when my cousin's little boy Collin gave everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) a hug before he left! SO. CUTE!

After the reception a few of us headed to Hotel Icon, where the newlyweds were staying. We had some drinks in the bar, talked about wealth and prestige, talked more about Mr. G and his greatness (and in contrast, the shittyness of myspace band promoters at SXSW), watched Thu fall asleep on top of two ottomans, and let Val rest her poor, tired feet. They, however, kicked us out at 12:30. So... they suggested another bar: Warren's. My brother immediately said, "Oh yeah. Good place. They serve stiff drinks." Stiff. Drinks. So... we went there. The bartender was NOT happy that 10 or so people just came in. You'd think she would be, but she wasn't... maybe cause we moved tables... but what did it matter to her? It wasn't busy... and we were business. Bad business on her part. Anyway... she was a douchebag. Mrs. Warren was a douchebag--moving on. After the hassle of dealing with her, Johnny and I started giving David a hard time saying that after THAT ordeal... these better be some STIFF drinks. He set out to prove himself right. He asked for some amaretto sours for Val & me and specifically said, "light on the sour, heavy on the alcohol..." and Mrs. Warren sassily replied to him (I imagine that she scoffed, but he never specified), "You're new here, aren'tcha?" Or... something condescendingly annoying like that. He told her, "Actually, no." He told this story a couple times so I know it well. Anyway... the point (and there is a point) is that they were the STIFFEST amaretto sours I've ever had in my LIFE. IN. MY. LIFE! (Like the Beatles!) Then he got Johnny a... whiskey diet? I think? HOLY CRAP. STIFF! STIFF LIKE... well not like a feather... (which is light) but as a BOARD! (Any girl who was once 11 knows what I'm talkin' about!)

I believe me, Johnny & Val shared a cig outside and talked about the wonders of teaching (will I ever know?) and probably other stuff but I cannot at this time recall what it was. We ended the night with Thu, once again, falling asleep in his chair, the male Finch and the (now) two Biles sharing a wedding night cig together and Johnny and I crashing at Val's family's condo in midtown. Overall the best part of the night were all the questions that were considered (if not answered):

Which last name on the pint glass belonged to the Japanese bride?

Why does Johnny hate Morrissey so much?

What were Peter & Donson going to do at home alone together?

Should 401ks belonging to hard-working retired teachers be protected?

Which is worse, a lifelong teacher dedicated to education or a myspace band promoter?

Did anyone want to spray paint Solange's name (pronounced: So-long-gay) over Beyonce's face on her mural?

Is Beyonce, in fact, as good a singer as people make her out to be?

How do you play Michael Jackson's game on Sega Genesis?

How the HELL do you play the "casino" stage of Sonic the Hedgehog?

Is Val's family Persian?

Does Val's family have a maid that comes in and makes the king sized bed PERFECT?

But the most important question of the night that was, indeed, answered was:

Where do they serve the stiffest of the stiff drinks?