"I hear in my mind all of this music and it breaks my heart..."

Oh Regina.

No, not of the George variety (though I believe that's Johnny's favorite Regina), but of the Spektor kind.

Today I told someone, "She's saved my life a million times.  I love her."  When I said it, I was merely conveying how important she was to me (in an admittedly dramatic fashion).  It is true, though.  She's played a pivotal role in helping me cope with a lot of things.  I've always known this.  I guess I just never knew to what magnitude.

Prior to going to the concert I looked up a setlist of one of her recent shows.  It had a pretty good mix of songs from the last 2 CDs with a sprinkling of other goodies.  I didn't look into it a whole lot, I just kind of skimmed it.

I decided to listen to the newest CD a little more since I hadn't listened to it a whole lot recently.  I remembered how much I loved the song "How" and it got me a tad bit emotional, and I was preparing myself for the tearful breakdown I was sure to have during the concert.  I made sure to do a good listen-through of the "Far" album as well, because a lot of the other songs were going to come from that and I figured I should brush up on some of those (although it's Regina and listening to her is like riding a bike--yeah, I just made that comparison.  Whatever.)

Regina comes out, grabs the mic, politely waits for the applause to die down (which, mind you, meant she waited for quite some time) and she sang "Ain't No Cover" and it was ASTOUNDING.  A cappella.  Her voice was crystal clear and it was glorious.  Ugh, it makes me sick how good she sounds.

Then she sat down and did "The Calculation" which is one of the happier songs on "Far" and that was, I think, a great way to sit down and start her show.

Then she started banging out the first few chords of "On The Radio" and I felt the immediate need to cry.  And not just cry like, "Oh, this is lovely I think I'll tear up a bit," but cry like, "Oh my god, I'm crying so hard that snot is going to start dripping towards my upper lip and I'll HAVE to wipe it away and then it'll be SUPER obvious that I'm crying and suddenly this just got awkward."

I wanted to fight that feeling and ignore it, because I didn't quite understand it.  Before officially allowing myself to start bawling, I turned to Lisa and I said, "Umm, why is this song making me want to cry?"  And she immediately replied something along the lines of, "Oh my god, I feel THE SAME WAY.  I just suddenly needed to cry."  So there we sat, my sister and I, crying over one of the happier upbeat songs from "Begin to Hope."

She played some other great songs, but even when she got to "How" I didn't really feel like crying all that much.  It was beautiful--but I think it was how the song started that got the mood to run away from me a bit.  Right before the song, an audience member shouted, "MARRYMYBROTHER!"  Regina started the song, but right before singing the word "how" she stopped and giggled and asked, "Did you just tell me to marry your brother?"  And she continued to giggle until she said, "Okay I can't laugh.  This is for serious."

After a few more songs she played "Better" which made me tear up a bit again.  Whyyyyyy?

She ended her set with "The Party" which is such an adorable song.  She also made sure to add a little spiel about going out and exercising your right to vote--also that she loved Obama and that she hopes everyone votes for him, but isn't saying you have to.  As if I didn't already love this woman.

Her Encore, however, had me crying almost the entire time.

1. Us
2. Fidelity (sob sob sob)
3. Hotel Song (calming down but still with tears collecting at the bottom of my chin and dripping onto my shirt)
and of course (and uggggggggh, whyyyyy)
4. Samson

She sang 5 songs from "Begin to Hope" and all 5 made me cry.  It was not lost on me that these were all on the same CD.  It also wasn't lost on me where exactly I was in my life when I was spending all of my time listening to said CD.  It came out Summer of 2006.  This was one of my favorite summers ever, but also one of my hardest years ever.  I kept making side comments to Lisa saying, "This CD.  All of the songs I'm crying to are from the same CD!"  She felt the same way.  When the concert was over and the lights came back on, we both stood up, and Lisa said, "You know why, right?"  And even though I had only kind of thought about it, and hadn't really considered it as my reason, I knew INSTANTLY.  Anne.

My brother David had mentioned Regina Spektor and how much he liked her.  At the time, I was just glad my brother liked anything, and I was thankful to anything that could lift his spirits up at all.  After Anne died, I think I listened to Coldplay's "Fix You" on repeat just waiting to think of something that would help David.  I was in need of something new.  I had seen Regina before, when she opened for Keane, but me being someone who generally enjoys music she already knows, was unsure how I felt about this odd singer with an odd way of... singing.  Odd?  Maybe unique is a better word?

Anyway, "Begin to Hope" is probably the most appropriate name for that album.  It's insanely appropriate.  Regina, after all, gave me back hope.  I sound sooooo cheesy--I realize this.  You have to realize that I was sure my brother's heart was broken, and that in turn broke my little 20 year old heart.  But Regina really did make sense of things for me.  She really did help me.  "Fidelity" for example:

"Suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you
Kiss me so sweet and so soft"

And later,

"All my friends say that of course it's going to get better..."

And when that still didn't quite heal my broken little "Why, God why????" heart, "On The Radio" made it all better (it kissed me where it was sore--if you will--and made me feel better):

"This is how it works:
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath.

No, this is how it works:
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again."

You hope it don't get harmed, but even if it does you'll just do it all again.

All I can say is that I'm deliriously tired, but I am so in love with the night I had tonight.  Yes, I cried WAY more than a regular human should have, but I am so happy.  It's been 6 years, and these songs still speak VOLUMES to me.

Regina Spektor saved my life a million times.
I love her.

Rachel Guthrie Johnson's Wedding!

June 25th - Our dear friend Rachel got married! :) It was a beautiful wedding outside in Mathis, TX (just north of Corpus) and it was at the same place (their families' lake houses) that the Fluornoy girls got married. The weather was great and everything was just perfect! And I cried... a lot.

Rachel got hitched! And she looked so beautiful!

Best Friends

We're sisters :)

I mean, we're pretty cute when we want to be.

Thomas spent a lot of time playing with Luke and Lucy the next day.

Sufjan Stevens and "Casimir Pulaski Day"

Dear Sufjan Stevens,

Please make me cry tonight. I'm hoping you will play my #1 favorite song--"Casimir Pulaski Day." According to Setlist.fm, it's one of your top three most played songs (along with my other two favorites--"John Wayne Gacy, Jr". and--duh--"Chicago"). Unfortunately, some setlists showed only "J.W.G.Jr." or only "Casimir Pulaski Day." Others had both in his encore. Please oh please oh please oh please oh PLEEEEEASE sing both tonight. Please oh PLEASE!!!!

"Casimir Pulaski Day." This song. This song is part one of my favorite playlists: Sophomore Songs, Track 8, sandwiched between Dashboard Confessional's "Hands Down" and Regina Spektor's "Fidelity." That year was a rather tumultuously emotional (emotionally tumultuous?) year for me. 2005-2006. Heartaches, new friends, loss of friends... For me, "Casimir Pulaski Day" represented Anne and her battle with leukemia. One of the quotes that I've always had in my "About Me" section on Facebook includes a line from this song, actually.

"All the glory when He took our place, but He took my shoulders and He shook my face and He takes and He takes and He takes..." -- Sufjan Stevens, "Casimir Pulaski Day"

It's a pretty song. It's a sad song, but a pretty song.

I'm going with LC tonight. LC is my Sufjan fellow fan. She's probably the one that introduced me to him. It was her birthday last week. She shares the same birthday as Anne. This was probably my first year not to cry on Anne's birthday. It's hard not to think about her though. LC's middle name is Anne, too. :) I was happy to get to celebrate LC's bday with her because it kind of makes me feel like I'm also getting to celebrate Anne's bday with her. Sorry Anne, if you don't like scary movies, cause that's how I celebrated your and LC's bday--watching Poltergeist.

Anyway, back to you, Sufjan... please please please, for the sake of me and the 2006 Mel who used your song to help heal a very very sad heart, PLEASE perform "Casimir Pulaski Day" tonight.

Love,

Mel

P.S. I really really really REALLY miss you, Anne.

P.P.S. Found this in an old Alcade that was online:

I Keep Tearing Out the Sutures

It has been a great week with Carl in town and Monday off work to look forward to (and no work at Anthro all week--and surprise appreciation!) But... it's been a rough week.

Last Saturday Thomas and I went with David to have dinner with the Guthries. This is always a great occasion because the Guthries are awesome and I just don't get to see them enough. The Guthrie sons weren't there, but the girls + Lucy were--and let's face it, that's AWESOME! However, with the great joy that comes with spending time with the Guthries, I've come to expect the inevitable twinge of... I don't know... I guess sadness...? It's nobody's fault--it's just, I mean... obviously, if you're with the Guthries, you automatically think of Anne because... well... she's the reason there's so much love between our two families. Anyway, I had Thomas with me, which is pretty much the best person for any occasion--happy or sad, because he always knows just the right thing to say (and if he doesn't, he just has a really great hug). At one point in the night I was showing Mary Anne & Grace the photos from Canyon Lake. When Grace saw the photo of Penny (Anne & David's beautiful Pekingese) , she started tearing up and it just broke my heart. She kept apologizing for being "so emotional." I of course told her how silly she was being. After all, no one needs to apologize to a Nguyen about being emotional. We're a family of criers!

Wednesday came along and I got a phone call from my sister Thu informing us that Penny had died that day. She finally left us to go groak (her favorite thing to do) for some food from Anne. I was literally sick to my stomach when I got that phone call. I already wasn't feeling all that great (in fact, I was just waking from a nap when Thomas came into the room with my phone) and this certainly didn't make things better. I even went into work a couple hours late the next day because I couldn't get to bed that night. My heart was just so heavy, it felt like it was sitting at the bottom of my stomach, ready to just fall out. Penny was such a great pup. Up until this last year when she was having all her health issues, she acted just like a brand new little hyper out of control pup! She was a spastic! But my mom (who I of course had to call and sob to that night) reminded me how sick Penny had been and how much better off she is now. But I think for me, (and for a lot of other people) it was more than just Penny herself. It was Penny... and what Penny stood for--what she meant to everyone in the family. That of course was Anne, and her loving, sweet, wonderful, and beautiful ways. It felt like it was hurting all over again.

There's a line from one of my favorite Postal Service songs ("Nothing Better") that says "Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures." Penny leaving us felt like a strong tug at the sutures that were already barely keeping my heart together after Anne left us. I know it seems a bit over dramatic what I'm saying, but I guess that's just the way I've been feeling and needed an outlet to get it out of me.

Goodnight my dear sweet friends.

David, Thomas, and me with most of the Guthries


Anne & Penny

Sending You the Compliments You Deserve

Dear Anne,

On a daily basis (that is, when I'm wearing it) I get tons and tons and tons of compliments on your necklace. I had always envied it when you had it, and when David chose to give it to me, it was probably one of the best things anyone had ever given me. It's by far one of my most-prized possessions. Every time someone compliments me on it (and believe me, it's a LOT), it's just a reminder of you and your great taste. :) I remember the first time I ever met you (the day of UT's Commencement ceremony in 2002 for Lisa's law school graduation), I told someone (maybe Lisa?) that you looked like you belonged in the 1920's--what with your short hair and cute dress. You just had a style and a way that was so awesome to me. You always did. Anyway, just wanted to let you know. :)

Love,
Mel

Into the West

Gabriela "Gabby" Romero, my niece's dear friend, passed away the morning of Friday, October 2, 2009. She was only 17. She was so young. She had decided a few weeks earlier that she would end her chemo treatments. What a decision for someone to make. Especially someone who had lived, to most people, so little of her life. She was very much loved. If she didn't know it before passing away, she definitely knew it afterwards. Waves and waves of kids sporting bright pink tshirts and face paint filled the stands of Pearland's gym to support the Lady Horns (currently under the name Team Gabby) in what would be their toughest game yet. Not only were they playing the #1 team who had a lot to lose if they lost this game (at the time, Dobie was the only undefeated team), but they had already lost one of the most important things to them that morning.

When I got to Pearland, they were just beginning to announce the names of the girls on the Varsity Pearland volleyball team. Each girl held a rose in her hand and as her name was called, she ran across the court and handed a rose to one of the girls on the Dobie team. It was a very touching moment. I think my brother got a little emotional himself, as I kept hearing him sniffle as he recorded the whole game opening.

After the game--they lost, unfortunately--Dobie News and a local high school sports channel interviewed my niece, one of Gabby's old friends and one of the leaders of the volleyball team. Afterwards, I gave her a big hug and told her how I wished they didn't have to go through all of this, and that I was so proud of how they had handled it and how they had carried themselves.

I took my nephew Austin and his friends to Gabby's house where a lot of the kids were holding a candlelight vigil. The streets surrounding her cul de sac were so packed I could barely drive through them. The whole middle of the street was filled with kids. I'm not exaggerating. It was just one gigantic pile of Gabby's loved ones.

The next morning I listened to Into the West.

Mortality is something so... scary to really think about. To be only 17 and have to face your own mortality the way Gabby did? And of course I can't think of something like this and not think about Anne. She was only 24. I'm only 23. By my age she'd already fought leukemia and beaten it once. What the hell have I done?

I've come to the realization that I don't think I'll be doing much that's great in this lifetime. But I can love. And I will love and love and love and live to love as much as possible. Love is a many splendored thing and I will love until my heart bursts.

I think the reason why I love Into the West so much is because although it is definitely a song written to comfort the one who is/had been physically suffering... it definitely is comforting to the one who had been their strength the whole time. The line, which is definitely--easily--my favorite in the song, "Why do you weep? What are these tears upon your face? Soon you will see all of your fears will pass away," is a line that I have imagined many times. I've imagined Anne saying it to David the night she passed away and I find it so comforting because that's the kind of person she was. So loving, so caring. So concerned about everyone else.

On a much lighter note, I had a great time at happy hour with Maggie, Buddy & Sarah! Sometimes you just need to sit and shoot the shit with your friends. I loved my drink, my tapas, and--you guessed it--I love my friends :)

Love Love Love...

The Guthrie Girls

I didn't go to Monday Night Dinner this week. Instead, I had dinner at Hula Hut with Lisa, Mike, baby Luke, and... two of my favorite people in the world! Mary Ann and Grace Guthrie! Mary Ann is always a pleasure to be with and see (the last time I saw her was when she came to my graduation!) Seeing Grace was a real treat! I haven't seen her since... probably the last time I went to Corpus Christi (January 2007).

I always forget how wonderful she is. She just graduated high school and she's such a beautiful and great person. The best thing is--she's such a hoot to be around. She is HILARIOUS! Mary Ann has always been fun and entertaining--the stories she tells us are always fun to listen to. Grace is just as entertaining. The best part is when she makes comments about how unnecessary her mom's comments are. She's going to A&M (le sigh) but that just means she'll be closer to Austin! I hope she does take me seriously on my offer to house her anytime she wants to come visit. She really is more like a sister than anything to me. I asked her what she was planning to study and she said she's going to do psychology. She'd like to do something similar to the women that saw Anne at M.D. Anderson. She said they'd come into the children's wing, talk to the kids (or in this case, 23 year old Anne) and make sure that they were coping well. Originally she had wanted to do oncology nursing... but figured it would "break" her. Grace has always been so strong and confident--so sweet and caring--so much like her sister. I think that's what really got to me. It reminded me of how great a person Anne was.

After dinner, I didn't stay at Lisa & Mike's like a normally would. I guess I just needed some alone time. Drove home and listened to some Killers on the way. "Why Do I Keep Counting," one of my original favorites from the Sam's Town cd, started the tears rolling--right around the "... if I only knew the answer, if I changed my way of living, and if I paved my streets with good times, will the mountain keep on giving?" There's something about the way Brandon sings that part that just makes my heart ache every time I hear it.

It was a different kind of cry this time. It wasn't my usual Anne-day kind of cry. I wasn't mad she was gone, and I wasn't really sad she was gone. I just really missed her. I missed how funny she was--without every REALLY meaning to be. She was always SO SO nice too. Almost too nice, considering how crazy my family can be. She'd try so hard not to step on anyone's toes or offend anyone--even when it was necessary to.

One time, Anne and David came over for dinner over at Lisa & Mike's. Earlier that week, we had bought these self-re-enflatable whoopie cushions at the one spot at Target. You just had to press it, and it would make the typical whoopie-cushion sound, and then it'll re enflate itself (similar to squeezing a sponge) and you can just keep doing it over and over and over again. Well, Lisa made a comment about how her stomach wasn't feeling so well and she went into the half bathroom that was downstairs right by the dinner table. She went to town on that whoopie cushion. Of course, Mike and I were in on it--but David and Anne weren't. David was in disbelief, but didn't really react with much more than a surprised face. Anne on the other hand had to run upstairs to keep herself from laughing too loudly. I had already run upstairs to keep myself from blowing the joke, and Anne found me--but just assumed I was laughing for the same reason she was. It's probably one of my favorite Anne memories.

Grace said they put a new headstone at her grave. They planted palm trees too. I'd really love to see it, seeing as how it's been a 2 and a half years since I have. It was really hard when I went before--but it was only a year after she had passed, so maybe that was why.

Sometimes I listen to songs that make me think of her. I close my eyes and imagine I'm just floating--in the water or in the air, I'm not really sure--but I'm just floating, very light, very comfortable, and Anne is floating around with me... with a glass of wine--she always has a glass of wine.

"You won't be coming back and I didn't get to say goodbye

I really wish I got to say goodbye...

And I'm sure the view from Heaven beats the hell out of mine here

And if we all believe in Heaven, maybe we'll make it through one more year"

--- Yellowcard, "View From Heaven"

The Call

In life, you get a lot of different calls. Telephone calls are the most common. There's "the call" to some higher being that some people have gotten. I think I felt that call a few times when I was in YAC back in high school. I remember going to the retreats and you can't help but feel something calling you. I hate Christian music. I like regular music that can be viewed as having Christian undertones. Sufjan Stevens is fine with me--cause it's not outright religious to me.

But Christian Rock bands make me want to throw up. I was just watching the Seinfeld episode when Elaine borrows Puddy's car and finds out that all of his stations are preset to Christian Rock. When she brings it up, she finds out he's fairly religious, but isn't bothered by the fact that she's not because he's "not the one going to Hell." We'll save that for another time. Let's just say I, too, was grossed out by Puddy's choice of music.

The point of this post, however, was not to discuss that particular call. It's to discuss the wake up call I recently got. Or rather, a retro-wake up call. And it's to thank him for letting me back into his life. I've felt resentment towards those friends that have strayed from my life. Some I openly welcome back in without even a moment's hesitation--like nothing ever happened. Others, I'll let back in, but I don't think ever to the degree that they were before. And it saddens me to think that.

But that's just life. And that's the way life, I guess, will always be. I just wanted to say that the friends I have now are truly great friends. They've stuck with me for years. They love me for who I am. They love me for who I am despite the things they've learned about me (I hope).

Onto other things--

I dreamt last night about random weird things. The part that sticks out the most is when I went to what was apparently Anne's family. They were sitting and having dinner, and there was a little boy (who I guess was supposed to be a boy version of Lucy?) He didn't remember me. And I starting sobbing. I mean--bawling and sobbing. It hurt. It's one of those pains that stays with you when you wake up from your dream clutching your chest.

I need to go visit all of them in Corpus.

Random Things

I can't force myself to do a list of 25. It's impossible. There are simply not 25 things I can come up with, so I'm just gonna go with it and see how it goes. I'm only doing this for Johnny--let it be known. It should be fine, since I'm 99.75% sure that he's the only person who'll read this.

- I often pretend I'm in a music video. I did this most often when I used to ride the Far West bus everyday. I'd stick my ipod headphones in, stare out the window and listen to some sappy song. The song usually is some sort of coming-of-age song in which the singer is doing some kind of growing up/moving away/letting go, etc. Sometimes this can be embarrassing when I get a little carried away and it becomes obvious that my head has me somewhere far away from the bus seat I'm sitting in. That rarely stops me.

- Being the youngest of 9 kids, I've always been terrified of being considered spoiled. That was always the first thing that people would ask me when they found out I was the baby of 9 kids, "Ooooh, so they must've spoiled you rotten!" or "Ooooh, so you were a pretty spoiled kid growing up, weren't you?" Because of this, I always tried my hardest to be as unspoiled as possible. I think that's why I'm terribly indecisive. I never wanted to really put in my say--for fear that I would "get my way" and be thought of as spoiled. However, I think this makes people feel like I'm just being a child who doesn't want to make her own decisions and would rather other people make them for her. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

- I used to have internet boyfriends. I still talk to one of them every now and then, Scott Neverdusky from Clarksville, TN. I think he's 25 or 26 now. He's married to some Asian girl I think. I always knew he had a thing for Asians. I met him on a website for people who watched this show--MVH--which was a Korean music video show. I wish I could say I was too young to know better... but I was 13 and knew it was weird. But really--all this meant was that I chatted to this boy everyday and I didn't have any other boyfriends--which wasn't a problem because in middle school, I was "the friend" so no biggie. This abruptly ended the summer before my freshman year in high school. I met a boy on aol. His AOL sn was Tuneduin. His real name was Jason. He went to the same high school I was about to go to and we talked every night for a few weeks--never a "boyfriend" but I liked him a lot. He apparently was a very depressed boy who had not been taking his pills. The whole story is a little convoluted, but long story short... I called him one monday around 4--cause he was supposed to be at summer band practice that day--and his mom picked up the phone and told me that Jason hung himself that day. That was my first experience with death, really. And I blamed myself for a long time. I have my reasons--and I still think they're pretty valid.

- I always wish I was more of a girly girl. There are so many asian girls that can do the "downtown" look so easily. I rarely can do (or pull off) the "downtown" look... and even when I do, I usually forget I'm wearing make up and I end up rubbing it all off.

- On my last.fm, though I never delete tracks I listen to, I do try to sway my chart in certain ways if it looks too embarrassing. Thanks to listening to N Sync's Christmas cd during the holidays, they show up as one of my top listened to bands. I love them--but I'm not 15 anymore. They don't even have new songs. I take comfort in knowing that I have better music tastes than prettier girls.

- I hate the word "drama." I'd rather be in the midst of "drama" than hear people say things like, "Don't start any drama." On the same note, Kyle Umlang sucks.

- Green is obviously my favorite color. I feel like this is so obvious a random fact about myself that it would be almost wrong to leave it off of this list.

- Anne Elizabeth Guthrie, my brother David's girlfriend who passed away over 3 years ago is the closest thing to an angel on earth as I can imagine. I feel like people always say nice things about people after they die, but I think everything that was ever said about Anne was completely true. I often have Anne days--days in which I sit and do nothing but cry on and off. This year on the anniversary of her death, I managed to go until 9 PM before I realized it was her day--and that was because her youngest sister, Grace, wrote on my wall. Part of me was glad that I had forgotten--because I knew it wasn't as if I'd forgotten her--but because it meant I was actually letting go. The other part of me was ashamed because I think the whole idea of "acutally letting go" is bullshit. Everytime at church when the priest says the thing about "for all the unspoken prayers in your heart," I do a silent prayer for Anne's soul. Not because I don't think she's already happily in Heaven--but because I want her to know I still think about her. I went and got her necklace restrung last week. Soon I'll have it back and I'll have it on as my daily reminder of the bravest young lady on earth. On her friendster page, she wrote "Cancer Survivor at the age of 22!" That was, obviously, before she relapsed, but I wish she knew how much more there was to her than that.

- My very first plane ride ever was when I was 8 years old. I was by myself too. My sister, Rachel, flew me out to Atlanta to meet her, and then we flew to Orlando, FL together. This is where the story of the "$25 Salisbury Steak" took place. You see, we went to eat in Cinderella's castle. 8 year old Melissa ordered the salisbury steak. My sister kept asking me if I was sure that's what I wanted and I insisted that it was! I LOVED SALISBURY STEAK! That is, I loved the one that came in the frozen foods section under the Banquet brand (I still do, too). So when an actual steak came out. I think I took one bite and that was it for me. I think Rachel, to this day, still thinks I'm a picky eater.

- When I was younger, my siblings had the coolest friends. Now that I'm older, I just hope that my nieces and nephews think I have the coolest friends. I think I do.

- Although I'm not a Singer anymore, I wish it was acceptable to still sing at parties. "In the Halls" was like a free pass to roast anyone! And everyone can openly enjoy the roasting! I wonder if any Singer was clever enough to incorporate one of Michael Scott's roast quotes into the "Halls" verses at the last party. Probably not. Maybe Jack, if anyone.

- I think I have the best taste. I don't think it's pretentious, but I definitely think it's above par. Does that make it sup-par? Since below is sub-par?

- In one of my English classes, my teacher taught the use of "--"to break up a thought in sentence. I've abused it ever since. You can probably find several above.

- Mr. Golenko, my latin teacher, was phenomenal. He was the closest thing to a college professor I had in high school. He didn't treat us quite like adults (which made sense, cause we were stupid kids), but he didn't treat us like children. He just treated us like idiots--which is the best way to go with high school kids, I think. We're very receptive to that. He, however, did not like it when me and Ryan Cobb would high five each other whenever one of us got the answer right (... which was a lot).

- Johnny Pham (and I am not saying this because I know you're reading this) is one of the funniest people I know. I've said this on numerous occasions. From his first funny comment, "On a lady?", to his rant in Miami, to his obsession with disgusting wall-to-wall PDA, to his second set of 25 random things--he's so funny it makes my stomach hurt. I've decided that he can make or break a trip downtown. If Johnny feels like being Drunk Johnny--it'll be one of the best nights of your life (e.g., his 23rd birthday). If Johnny feels like keeping it chill, so will everyone else--which usually ends up pretty lame. Not saying it's your fault Johnny--but you do hold the power. Quit being so withholding with the fun.

- Since I never had allergies growing up, I didn't realize that I was having issues with allergies when I moved up to Austin. It just developed. I thought I was just sick, but then EVERYONE around me would tell me how they're just having allergy problems. After this happened several other times, I've come to the conclusion that I am not immune to this so-called "Cedar Fever" and have to suffer through it like everyone else.

- I take offense to people thinking I'm wrong. I rarely just make up shit--so when I say things, I'm usually under the assumption that I am correct. In the event that I am incorrect, I'll often admit it when I find it out (e.g., I e-mailed a patient from the office when I realized that I was wrong about a debate we were having). I have no problem with admitting I'm wrong. But when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt (white phrase) that I am correct--nothing drives me more crazy than someone insisting I'm wrong. Thomas Wilder likes to do this.

- There are some words, phrases or activities that are primarily used/done by white people. I refer to these as white things. Thomas Wilder, Kayla Bollom & Mr. Matt are guilty of 95% of these things. Kyle Umlang is 47.5% guilty.

- When I hear a song that's pretty and the lyrics are quite love-related and meaningful, I text the artist and song name to Thomas for him to review. This is for the sole-purpose of finding our song for our first dance at our wedding. The most recent one was Eisley - "Lost at Sea." I'm debating on whether or not Kate Nash's "The Nicest Thing" is worthy of candidacy.

That's enough for tonight. I'm exhausted. I hope you're happy Johnny.

Tagged: Johnny Pham