I Should've Written, "5. A Million Dollars!"

In general, I don't expect gifts.  Well, okay, I take that back.  Thomas I expect something from.  (Not always, we did have a deal a couple years ago to not give any gifts!)  :)

This year, I got literally everything I wanted and more!

On Monday (the day before my birthday) I jokingly (and randomly) wrote a list of things on the dry erase board in the class I was subbing for.  This was more my way of getting their attention (they were all talking to each other when the bell rang, but they got a lot quieter once they started trying to figure out what I was writing):

1. green
2. size 7
3. Anthropologie
4. gerber daisies

I proceeded to ignore their questions and comments ("Miss Nguyen, 'anthropology' is spelled with a 'y'") and take roll.  I then went through the instructions for what they were supposed to be doing that day and right when I was done, on the tail end of the last instruction, I pointed to each item on the board and said,

"My birthday is tomorrow.  Oh and by the way my favorite color is green, I wear size 7 shoes, my favorite store is Anthropologie," (here you see some girls nod in agreement, and the rest of the class still remains clueless as to how there is a store dedicated to the discipline of anthropology), "and my favorite flowers are gerber daisies!  So, you know... just... saying."

The next day, I actually had some students bring me things!

Not only did I get green things (a green bag with an umbrella and some green lotion and body mist and also green cards), but I also got some flowers including (of course) gerber daisies!  :)

That night, Lisa, Luke, Thomas, and I went to Jasper's.  We had some (and by some I mean all) of their happy hour bar menu.  My favorites were the: pizza, sliders, and pork satays.  Skip the blue cheese potato chips--especially if you're expecting it to be as awesome as Plucker's version.  Then we... went to... *drumrollnotreallyneeded* ANTHROPOLOGIE!  Where I found myself some silver shoes... size 7.  And my sister was, of course, sweet and wonderful enough to treat me to it (this is after she already treated us to said dinner at Jasper's)!

Probably could've gotten a better photo, but too lazy.  :)

So there you have it.  My four things that I randomly off-the-top-of-my-head listed, and I got all four!  I even got a couple more things I hadn't expected (but would definitely be somewhere on my list of favorite things): TWO--yes, count it--TWO bottles of sriracha--one from Miss Maggie and the other from Thomas's family.  Thomas's family then threw in one more really really awesome thing:

Seth Meyers @ Paramount Theatre

I have such an awesome nerdcrush on him.  I look forward to weekend updates so this SNL Headwriter can make me giggle.  I still haven't decided if I have a bigger crush on him or Tina.  It's a tough one.  Now, if I got this combo, I might not have such a hard time making the decision:

Or, even better (if you're not reading this from your iPhone and/or the book I plan to print and make of this):

Yes, guys.  Really.  This was a GREAT birthday!  Much like Edwin McCain, I've got all I've waited for, and I could not ask for more!  (Yeah, I went there)

My birthday cupcake!  Luke helped me blow out my candles!  :)

Eshe & Nia go to... NEW YOOOOOORK!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE... you get the idea.

12/17 - This was a sad night.  But not like, weepy, cry me a river sad, just... sad.  It started out okay enough.  I was dogsitting this weekend for Lisa and Mike and sat around for much of the day.  Eshe's party wasn't until later that night... so I had a few hours in which I needed to figure out what I was going to do...

I remembered there were signs and talk of a teacher get-together at Dart Bowl on the 17th... accompanied with a message saying, "HOPE YOU CAN MAKE IT!"  Of course, this was on the white board in the faculty lounge and... long story short, after much debate I decided to go.  At first it was super awk... because I only kind of knew some of the people... but eventually we talked some more, and now I feel like I have a slightly better relationship with my fellow teachers!  It was nice :)

I was slightly more dressed up than one would normally be at a bowling alley (due to plans to go downtown with Hannah after Eshe's)... so it was a little awkward bowling in a short black dress... with an assistant principal showing up, but whatever, I had a good time :)

Then I went over to Buddy's and we headed to Eshe's.  When we got there, there was a lot of dancing... mostly done by all the kiddos, who are SUPER ADORBS!  Nia is one lil dancing queen!

So cute!

Most of the rest of the night was spent with Buddy, Kristi, and me hovering around Kristi's buffalo chicken wing dip (if you haven't had it, it's to freakin' DIE FOR).  We talked about all sorts of things... you know, the usual with us.  Eshe and some of her anthropology classmates came and joined us, but for the most part... instead of focusing on how much we'd miss her, we basically spent a lot of time talking about... the same ol' shit... and reminiscing on... the same ol' shit.  :)  We all love her and we'll miss her and her baby girl oh so very much!

And now for a photo montage of moments I've had with Eshe in the past 7.5 years in no particular order :)

Me, Eshe, Nia, Kristi & Buddy 

@ her going away

Eshe & Me 

@ her going away party

Nia, Eshe, Kristi, me & Kayla (aka the Sisterhood) 

@ our very first excursion to Cafe Monet (2010)

The Sisterhood 

@ El Arroyo for Kayla's engagement! (early 2011)

Maggie, Kristi, Eshe, Hannah, Johnny, Buddy, Bryan, me, Luis & Schutte 

@ Hill House's housewarming (late 2011)

Maranda, me, Eshe, Kayla, Kristi & Maggie

@ Nia's Baby Shower (mid 2009)

Jackie, Eshe, me

@ LHS Wine & Cheese (Fall 2006)

Stephen, Kayla, Mr., Oro, Kyle, Eshe, Johnny, Buddy, me

@ Stephen's Lake House in Waco (Fall 2007)

Buddy, Sinae, Johnny, me, Kyle, Byron, Kayla, Mr., Eshe (aka The Seniors!)

@ La Palapa after singing "We Go Together" (Fall 2007)

The Senior Ladies

@ Backstage for the "We Are Family" show before singing Lady Marmalade (Spring 2008)

Eshe, Mr., Kyle, Kayla, Oro, and me (aka Fall '04!)

@ Ken Capps for OU Weekend (Fall 2007)

Eshe, Johnny, Buddy, me, Mr. & Kayla

@ Commencement!  (Spring 2008)

Maggie, me, Eshe, Kristi & Kayla

@ Amy's Ice Cream feeling up Nia (Spring 2009)

Where it all began :)

LHS NUGI Class Fall 2004

This kind of makes it looked like she died.  But no!  She is very much alive!  And in NEW YORK (lucky bitch!)  :)  We can't wait for her to come back but we're so proud of what she's doing!

My Will Gets Weak and My Thoughts Seem to Scatter

Today, I've had a couple song lyrics come to mind:

"The more I know, the less I understand. All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again." -- Don Henley (or India Arie), "Heart of the Matter"

and

"[T]he decades disappear like sinking ships, but we persevere. God gives us hope, but we still fear what we don't know." -- The Killers, "A Dustland Fairytale"

I hate to be cryptic, but at the moment I don't know what all can/should be said. Suffice it to say that I've come across an event in my life that has suddenly and unexpectedly shaken me to my core. To be honest, I feel silly. I feel naive. I feel like I'm too old (or at least far enough past my formative years) to let something like this so heavily influence and change things I so strongly believe(d) in. Steven claims this just shows I'm human. More later

Will You Split Your Soul With Me?

July 14th/15th - So... Thomas and I have been joking since Half Blood Prince came out that we were going to get engaged the night of the release of the last Harry Potter film (this was before we knew there was a Part 2... but the fact remains the same). Of course, timing didn't work out quite the way we wanted it to so we both knew it wasn't going to happen.

Of course, me being me, I just kept telling Thomas how I was looking forward getting engaged after the movie. I sent Lisa an e-mail and this is what it said:

The joke is that Thomas is supposed to propose to me after the last HP.

Is there a cute non shitty way I can semi-propose to HIM? He's too perfect it makes my stomach sick.

She called me later that day asking, "Isn't there a ring that's a Horcrux in Harry Potter?" And it absolutely clicked. I replied emphatically, "YES!" And Lisa said, "You should ask him, 'Thomas, will you split your soul with me?'"

Anyway, even though it was a joke, I was kind of nervous all night about it. But I did it and he was surprised and it was pretty funny. :)

He said YES!

P.S. Thomas and I watched Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2... FOUR TIMES in the first week!

Let Love Speak Up Itself

There's been a lot of love flowing around me these last few weeks. Here's a quick recap:

Miss Aberdeen & her wonderful Horacio got engaged and the insanely talented Cathleen threw a DELICIOUS engagement party!

The LHS Contingency (well, some of us) at the Umlang Wedding.

The LHS Contingency at the Litzler Wedding.

The Litzler ceremony was surprisingly very emotional for me. They had a friend of theirs officiate and the wedding party did a prayer circle around the bride and groom respectively (and then all joined together) right after the exchanging of the rings. Even though the rest of the wedding attendees (like myself) weren't privy to what exactly was being said in these prayer circles, you could just see and FEEL the love that they all had for one another. It was extremely special to see, I thought. I liked that we were able to witness it. I'd never seen something like that done in a ceremony. Umm, Imightstealtheideaorsomethinglikeit,kay! Haha... anyway, them having their friend officiate kind of made me think of how sometimes there'd be a mini prayer circle before LHS shows. I can still picture Sarah closing her eyes and smiling as she says a prayer for the group. Ugh, those were always special moments. I'd like to share a special moment like that.

Oh yeah and singing THE EYES OF TEXAS is an obvious must-have. If not for myself, for Nesbitt alone.

We've Got So Far To Go

The following are some lyrics to the song "Come So Far (Got So Far To Go)" from the musical Hairspray. I've never been a huge fan of Hairspray, I don't really know why or why not, but I just never was. I've had to watch it quite a few times during classes on movie days/Fun Fridays with the choirs. During the credits, this song comes on. I really like the tune of it (click here for the youtube video), and after the 3rd or 4th time listening to it, I really like the lyrics. I got giddy the other night when Thomas and I were listening to it and I realized it'd be an UBER cute wedding song. Just another to add to the list...

Hey old friend, together
Side by side and year by year
The road was filled with twists and turns
Oh but that's the road that got us here

Let's move past the bad times
But before those memories fade
Let's forgive but not forget
And learn from the mistakes we made

Cause it's so clear
Every year
We get stronger
So don't give up
Don't say when
And just get back on the road again

Cause...

I know we've Come So Far
But we've Got So Far To Go
I know the road seems long
But it won't be long 'till it's time to go

So, most days we'll take it fast
And some nights lets take it slow
I know we've Come So Far
But baby
We've Got So Far To Go

Obvious Reason Why Thomas is Wonderful - #13

11 entries ago on the ORWTW list, I wrote this on my blog.

Now, a year later, I guess I'm obliged to write another blog about it... :)

Happy 4 year anniversary Thomas! Thank you for continually liking me despite the fact I still don't have my life completely together. :) I'm excited you're almost done with school and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us (ugh, I feel so... YOU saying that... haha)

"When the hardest part is over we'll be here, and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fear." -- Brandon Flowers, "Crossfire"

I can't explain why that quote makes me think of Thomas. Reading what other people think this song is about, I don't think I necessarily agree. I think I know what it means to me and I know I love that particular part of that song and I know Thomas likes it too, and somehow it makes me think of him and it makes me think of him so... there.

Some Things I Learned (or rather, had Confirmed) this Weekend

All the single (or married, whatever) ladies!

The Young Ones :)
- Motherhood is still a job primarily held by women. We need to get on this, my fellow feminists! Men, let's start applying for Motherhood!

- Cherries are more commonly dipped in chocolate than strawberries.

- The average 100 people surveyed for family feud often serve things at home such as sushi and caviar. If you're wanting some salad or pizza, however, you'd need to go out to eat for that because NOBODY eats that at home.

- My entire extended family is amazing.

- My immediate family (or rather, Anh Van, Anh Vien, Chi Thu, David & me) aren't as good at Family Feud as we thought we were. :) We brought some serious shame on us that night! Poor Chi Phuong-Anh! Had to be stuck with us! Whatever, she had fun! :)

- Probably the most important thing I learned (or rather, had confirmed) this weekend was that my Grandma was loved very very much by a very very giant family that only knows how to love and have lots and lots of fun!

I Keep Tearing Out the Sutures

It has been a great week with Carl in town and Monday off work to look forward to (and no work at Anthro all week--and surprise appreciation!) But... it's been a rough week.

Last Saturday Thomas and I went with David to have dinner with the Guthries. This is always a great occasion because the Guthries are awesome and I just don't get to see them enough. The Guthrie sons weren't there, but the girls + Lucy were--and let's face it, that's AWESOME! However, with the great joy that comes with spending time with the Guthries, I've come to expect the inevitable twinge of... I don't know... I guess sadness...? It's nobody's fault--it's just, I mean... obviously, if you're with the Guthries, you automatically think of Anne because... well... she's the reason there's so much love between our two families. Anyway, I had Thomas with me, which is pretty much the best person for any occasion--happy or sad, because he always knows just the right thing to say (and if he doesn't, he just has a really great hug). At one point in the night I was showing Mary Anne & Grace the photos from Canyon Lake. When Grace saw the photo of Penny (Anne & David's beautiful Pekingese) , she started tearing up and it just broke my heart. She kept apologizing for being "so emotional." I of course told her how silly she was being. After all, no one needs to apologize to a Nguyen about being emotional. We're a family of criers!

Wednesday came along and I got a phone call from my sister Thu informing us that Penny had died that day. She finally left us to go groak (her favorite thing to do) for some food from Anne. I was literally sick to my stomach when I got that phone call. I already wasn't feeling all that great (in fact, I was just waking from a nap when Thomas came into the room with my phone) and this certainly didn't make things better. I even went into work a couple hours late the next day because I couldn't get to bed that night. My heart was just so heavy, it felt like it was sitting at the bottom of my stomach, ready to just fall out. Penny was such a great pup. Up until this last year when she was having all her health issues, she acted just like a brand new little hyper out of control pup! She was a spastic! But my mom (who I of course had to call and sob to that night) reminded me how sick Penny had been and how much better off she is now. But I think for me, (and for a lot of other people) it was more than just Penny herself. It was Penny... and what Penny stood for--what she meant to everyone in the family. That of course was Anne, and her loving, sweet, wonderful, and beautiful ways. It felt like it was hurting all over again.

There's a line from one of my favorite Postal Service songs ("Nothing Better") that says "Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures." Penny leaving us felt like a strong tug at the sutures that were already barely keeping my heart together after Anne left us. I know it seems a bit over dramatic what I'm saying, but I guess that's just the way I've been feeling and needed an outlet to get it out of me.

Goodnight my dear sweet friends.

David, Thomas, and me with most of the Guthries


Anne & Penny

Bones Episode: Aliens In A Spaceship

The ninth episode of the second season.

HOLY SHIT!

SO GOOD! Probably one of the most intense and so far my favorite episode EVER!!! I cried. Like, more than anyone should ever actually admit to crying for a TV show. Booth running... is amazing. You just have to see the episode I guess.

The Cause of Peace and Brotherhood

As I read more and more of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s autobiography, I become more and more amazed. I dog-ear pages where he says something particularly moving or still relevant. I have to be very conservative in this dog-earring of pages, cause if I wasn't, my book would be impossible to back with all it's dog-eared pages making it fatter and fatter at the top.

Anyway, I'm only maybe... 3/5 of the way through the book. It's been slow. Not because it hasn't been good, but I think mostly because I'm... a slow reader. I like things to sink in. I can't skim. If I even start to FEEL like I skimmed, I usually have to go back 2 pages or so to re-read to make sure I didn't miss anything.

Do you guys know how many times MLK had gone to jail? A lot. Like, a lot. At first it was just things to keep him off the streets and off the pulpit--traffic tickets, stuff like that. Then it was for violating injunctions on protests (despite the fact they were peaceful protests). He's spent time in a Montgomery, Albany and Birmingham jail. He also wrote a super long letter to some "don't-rock-the-boat" ministers & rabbis that had criticized him for coming into Birmingham and trying to stir up trouble. He wrote about 16 pages (well in my book) worth as a rebuttal to what those ministers and rabbis had said about him in a paper. All he had were scraps of paper and the margins of the newspaper to write on. He. Is. A. Badass. Is it okay to call an ordained reverend a badass? Whatevs. What's done is done.

Anyway, my inspiration board for today heavily features the Reverend King. The top right photo is probably one of my favorites. MLK just got convicted of "violating the state's anti-boycott law." His wife, the beautiful, faithful, loving, caring, nurturing, steadfast Coretta Scott King is seen giving her hubby a giant smooch after his conviction. He later wrote,

"Ordinarily, a person leaving a courtroom with a conviction behind him would wear a somber face. But I left with a smile. I knew that I was a convicted criminal, but I was proud of my crime. It was the crime of joining my people in a nonviolent protest against injustice. It was the crime of seeking to instill within my people a sense of dignity and self-respect. It was the crime of desiring for my people the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It was above all the crime of seeking to convince my people that noncooperation with evil is just as much a moral duty as is cooperation with good."

See? Badass. In the middle, you see a photo of Rosa Parks. Also, a Grade A Badass. The middle is MLK with a photo of one of his biggest inspirations, India's Mahatma Ghandi. He practiced what he preached--nonviolent civil disobedience. Without Ghandi's trailblazing efforts to overcome his opposition through nonviolence, who knew if the leaders of our civil rights movement would've known to take the same steps?

If this philosophy had not emerged, by now many streets of the South would, I am convinced, be flowing with blood. And I am further convinced that if our white brothers dismiss as "rabble-rousers" and "outside agitators" those of us who employ nonviolent direct action, and if they refuse to support our nonviolent efforts, millions of Negroes will, out of frustration and despair, seek solace and security in black nationalist ideologies--a development that would inevitably lead to a frightening racial nightmare."

I can quote this man forever, but you see my point. Ever since I started reading this book, I've constantly tried to find arguments and parallels and instances where things Dr. King had said were still relevant today. While almost everything regarding race relations that he says is indeed still relevant today, I found a lot of what he said applicable to the struggle for LGBT (GLBT?) rights. I'll end this blog with one last thing that MLK said that really sparked something in me. I've always been a proponent of gay rights (omg, can we just fricken let them marry already?!) and what MLK said makes me really want to get out there. And... it also makes it disappointed in the church for not spreading the message of love when it comes to homosexuality. Then again, I've read (and seen banners) for a group at the UCC called "PRISM" and they are a group for LGBT (basically all non-heterosexual) Catholics who meet every Monday. I think I'd actually really like to go to meetings, just to learn more. Yes. I'm going to do that. Anyway, here's a few more words from the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There was a time when the Church was very powerful--in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. [...] Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.
Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood,
Martin Luther King, Jr.

*All excerpts were taken from The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. Edited by Clayborne Carson. If you're interested in this novel, you can purchase it here!

"Symptoms of Love" by Robert Graves

Love is a universal migraine,

A bright stain on the vision

Blotting out reason.

Symptoms of true love

Are leanness, jealousy,

Laggard dawns;

Are omens and nightmares--

Listening for a knock,

Waiting for a sign:

For a touch of her fingers

In a darkened room,

For a searching look.

Take courage, lover!

Could you endure such grief

At any hand but hers?

* * *

If I had to pick one poem in my book of love poems that fully encapsulates my relationship with Thomas, it would be this one by Robert Graves. Robert Graves, by the way is the person who wrote I, Claudius (or I, CLAVDIVS, as Ryan Cobb used to always say). To most people this will mean nothing. To any of my friends (who don't read this blog) from Mr. Golenko's Latin class, that means the world.

Happy Anniversary Thomas! Spending 1 out of 3 anniversaries together ain't so bad! At least we didn't flat out forget like last year!

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

[Spoiler Alert, because it is literally impossible for me to talk about this book the way I want to without divulging EVERYTHING that happens in it, and because I don't know how to write without telling everything anyway.]

Grade: A

Before I actually start this book review, I just wanted to state that I am officially upset at Kyle and how, despite the fact that I rarely ever see him anymore, I still am victim to his many Kyle-isms on a daily basis. For example, while typing in the title of this book in the title subject line, I almost wanted to write The Five People You MEAT in Heaven. Which, of course, would be a completely different book altogether. Probably still as interesting, but... different.

I. Loved. This. Book. I devoured it on the treadmill at Premiere Lady Fitness. It was just short of 200 pages (200 little midget pages with fairly large font) and it was some of the best 200 pages I've ever read.

The book begins at the end. I wish I had the book on hand right now to quote from it, but maybe it's better this way so I can accurately describe exactly what it was that I got from reading it. Anyway, as I was saying, the beginning is the end, or is it that the end is only the beginning? Point is, the end never really is the end, and that was great for this book, because it would be over in the first 15 pages or so if that were the case.

You meat (dammit Kyle!) meet Eddie. Do we ever learn his last name? I don't think so.  [No, but everyone called him "Eddie Maintenance" cause that's what it said on his shirt!  I remember now!]  We know that he works at Ruby Pier, an amusement park on a pier (not quite Astroworld, more... Kemah boardwalk), and that he's 83 (it was his birthday). He's not a grumpy old man, but he's not a jolly one either. He, or so he thinks, goes through life, day by day, greasing tracks, tightening bolts and, every now and then, making a kid happy by making little animal shapes with pipe cleaners. Nothing spectacular. Nothing important. Nothing done by a nobody.

He meets 5 people: The Blue Man, Captain, Ruby (of the Pier), Margeurite & Tala. Each teaching him a very different lesson. Each in a different stage (of that particular person he's meeting) of Heaven. I love Albom's portrayal of Heaven. Much like Sebold's depiction of the "in-between" in The Lovely Bones, you don't meet God. He does mention God, the existence of him at least, but he didn't make God a character. I really liked that. To me, Albom let the five people be a vessel for God. Each person was there to teach Eddie the lessons he needed to learn, the lessons that, presumably God deemed important.

The Blue Man, someone who's death Eddie had inadvertently brought on, taught the lesson that every life is connected to another. With Eddie's life, came the death of the Blue Man. This is how the world works. It's just a fact of life.

The Captain was Eddie's captain back when he served in the army. After months in captivity by Japanese soldiers during World War II in the Philippines, Eddie helps he and his fellow soldiers to escape by distracting their four captors with juggling--yes, juggling. Eventually, they overpower their captors and in revenge for all the things they were forced to endure while under their power, the soldiers set fire to the entire village. Eddie swears he sees a shadow in the hut that he just set fire to and, ignoring the pleas of his fellow soldiers to get into the transport vehicle, he attempts to run into the hut to save whoever was stuck in the hut. What happened next was one of those life-altering events that, in the eyes of Eddie, ruined his life forever. A bullet hit his leg. A bullet that would render his leg useless. A bullet that he blamed as the cause of his "nothing" life. A bullet that was shot from his own Captain's gun. The Captain tried to explain that he was trying to save Eddie's life by taking him out via crippling his leg. Fighting ensues, the Captain doesn't fight back, he lets Eddie get out his anger. The Captain explains that in life, you must make sacrifices. Ultimately, the Captain made a sacrifice in the end that gave Eddie the gift of life--lame leg or not.

Ruby. As in Ruby-Pier-Ruby. Long story, but basically, she teaches Eddie the lesson of forgiveness. Eddie, who had a complicated relationship with his father (even more complicated than usual), had to learn to forgive his father. He learns things he didn't know and, though it's difficult, he learns to let go of his anger and his hate--which is only something that tears people apart.

Then there was Margeurite. Beautiful, pretty, young, Margeurite, aka Eddie's wife. The one and only love of his life. She sounds like a wonderful wife, I hope to be one like her one day. They faked me out and made me think she died when she, in fact, had not yet, but it was still devastating anyway. Point is, she teaches Eddie about love. That love transcends space and time (cliche, I know), but that it's more than just loving someone in the basic way we know it. When she passed away, she still felt Eddie's love--it just molded into a different form. Love is forever. (The emphasis on the word "is" is to be said a la Hugh Grant's character in Love Actually when he said, "... love actually is all around.")

There there is Tala. The entire book I was expecting to see "Annie or Amy", the girl that Eddie "saves" that causes his death. Throughout the book, he doesn't know if he was successful or not. He assumes not. I expected for him to meet her, as an old woman in his 5th step of Heaven--to show that he did save her, and that because of him, she was able to grow old. In a way, Mitch Albom did do something similar, but in a bigger, more unexpected way, I suppose. By this point, I had written of Eddie's vision of a shadow in the hut as just an hallucination, just as the Captain and Eddie's fellow soldiers guessed. Instead, he did see the shadow of a small child, a little girl named Tala who was told by her mother to hide from the soldiers in the hut. After Eddie tearfully pleads to the little girl to forgive him (I think?), Tala gives Eddie his final lesson. She lets Eddie know the reason why he was put on this earth to begin with. She first tells Eddie that he did, in fact, push Annie/Amy to safety from the falling roller coaster that caused his own death. He was confused because he distinctly remembered feeling little hands grasping him. Tala explains puts her own hands in his and he realizes that it was Tala, pulling him safely to Heaven.

Eddie eventually is taken back to a vision of the pier with thousands upon thousands of people, new and old and some non-existent (not born) and is told that because of his life's work of maintaining the pier, all of those people were kept safe... and that was his purpose in life. As little as it seemed to him, he held a much bigger purpose.

Now, after reading this novel, I go back to my post a week ago about Miep Gies and wonder again, am I doing enough? I don't want to have to wait until I'm done on this earth to find out what my purpose was. But maybe that's another lesson I need to learn. I just need to have faith in what I'm doing and hope that it is enough... maybe I'm not (and maybe no one is) meant to know what the meaning and purpose of life is while our time on earth is still ticking away. All I can do is try to live a good and happy life. I'll love my neighbor. I'll sacrifice what I can when I can--it's not all about me. I'll try not to let anger and negative emotions control me. I will let love (cheese alert!) lead the way.