I didn't go to Monday Night Dinner this week. Instead, I had dinner at Hula Hut with Lisa, Mike, baby Luke, and... two of my favorite people in the world! Mary Ann and Grace Guthrie! Mary Ann is always a pleasure to be with and see (the last time I saw her was when she came to my graduation!) Seeing Grace was a real treat! I haven't seen her since... probably the last time I went to Corpus Christi (January 2007).
I always forget how wonderful she is. She just graduated high school and she's such a beautiful and great person. The best thing is--she's such a hoot to be around. She is HILARIOUS! Mary Ann has always been fun and entertaining--the stories she tells us are always fun to listen to. Grace is just as entertaining. The best part is when she makes comments about how unnecessary her mom's comments are. She's going to A&M (le sigh) but that just means she'll be closer to Austin! I hope she does take me seriously on my offer to house her anytime she wants to come visit. She really is more like a sister than anything to me. I asked her what she was planning to study and she said she's going to do psychology. She'd like to do something similar to the women that saw Anne at M.D. Anderson. She said they'd come into the children's wing, talk to the kids (or in this case, 23 year old Anne) and make sure that they were coping well. Originally she had wanted to do oncology nursing... but figured it would "break" her. Grace has always been so strong and confident--so sweet and caring--so much like her sister. I think that's what really got to me. It reminded me of how great a person Anne was.
After dinner, I didn't stay at Lisa & Mike's like a normally would. I guess I just needed some alone time. Drove home and listened to some Killers on the way. "Why Do I Keep Counting," one of my original favorites from the Sam's Town cd, started the tears rolling--right around the "... if I only knew the answer, if I changed my way of living, and if I paved my streets with good times, will the mountain keep on giving?" There's something about the way Brandon sings that part that just makes my heart ache every time I hear it.
It was a different kind of cry this time. It wasn't my usual Anne-day kind of cry. I wasn't mad she was gone, and I wasn't really sad she was gone. I just really missed her. I missed how funny she was--without every REALLY meaning to be. She was always SO SO nice too. Almost too nice, considering how crazy my family can be. She'd try so hard not to step on anyone's toes or offend anyone--even when it was necessary to.
One time, Anne and David came over for dinner over at Lisa & Mike's. Earlier that week, we had bought these self-re-enflatable whoopie cushions at the one spot at Target. You just had to press it, and it would make the typical whoopie-cushion sound, and then it'll re enflate itself (similar to squeezing a sponge) and you can just keep doing it over and over and over again. Well, Lisa made a comment about how her stomach wasn't feeling so well and she went into the half bathroom that was downstairs right by the dinner table. She went to town on that whoopie cushion. Of course, Mike and I were in on it--but David and Anne weren't. David was in disbelief, but didn't really react with much more than a surprised face. Anne on the other hand had to run upstairs to keep herself from laughing too loudly. I had already run upstairs to keep myself from blowing the joke, and Anne found me--but just assumed I was laughing for the same reason she was. It's probably one of my favorite Anne memories.
Grace said they put a new headstone at her grave. They planted palm trees too. I'd really love to see it, seeing as how it's been a 2 and a half years since I have. It was really hard when I went before--but it was only a year after she had passed, so maybe that was why.
Sometimes I listen to songs that make me think of her. I close my eyes and imagine I'm just floating--in the water or in the air, I'm not really sure--but I'm just floating, very light, very comfortable, and Anne is floating around with me... with a glass of wine--she always has a glass of wine.
"You won't be coming back and I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye...
And I'm sure the view from Heaven beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in Heaven, maybe we'll make it through one more year"
--- Yellowcard, "View From Heaven"
